My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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