You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think people are normalizing furries
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
