What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
