Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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