I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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