So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize