i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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