Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize