yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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