I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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