Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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