yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
