I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
