Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
