But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
