At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just invented taco cereal.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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