Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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