my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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