lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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