i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Drunk is a universal language darling
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
