she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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