I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
