He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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