This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
