its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you made out with another girl for some wings
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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