also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
