I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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