I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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