We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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