I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
