I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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