It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize