in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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