dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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