Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
