i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
