Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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