Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
