Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
