I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
