she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just want to make out with him forever
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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