If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
