K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
