please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
