worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
