I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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