yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Enjoy the penises
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
