GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
