I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
