I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize