dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
