apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
