jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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