i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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