You just made me feel so damn special
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize