so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
