Well douche your snatch and let's go!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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