We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
