I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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