What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
