You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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