watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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