I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
