i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize